9 Benefits of Asking Questions instead of Giving Answers by Jane Bluestein, Ph.D.

The following article is from the website of Dr. Jane Bluestein. It discusses the benefits of asking questions of children instead of giving answers. If you click on the article title above, it will take you to Dr. Bluestein's website. Please enjoy.

9 Benefits of Asking Questions instead of Giving Answers

• Questions help children explore dimensions of a problem.
• Questions help children explore their available options.
• Questions help children identify their goals and intentions.
• Questions draw solutions from the child.
• Questions communicate your trust in the child's ability to solve a problem.
• Questions place the responsibility for finding a solution on the child.
• Questions allow you to help the child anticipate probable outcomes of various choices, helping her evaluate the choices she has.
• Questions build confidence and independence in problem solving.
• The process of asking instead of telling puts you in the role of facilitator or guide, rather than rescuer. It helps build skills and confidence kids can rely on when an adult isn't around to tell them what to do.

Imagine the learning your child can experience when you ask questions like, "How would you like your friend to treat you?" "What have you already tried?" "What else can you do?" "What might happen if you do that?" "How will you feel if that happens?" or when you simply say, "Well, just ignore her," or "Go play with somebody else." Even though a solution might be quite evident to you, there is great value in your child exploring the problem and possible solutions with you as her guide!

Excerpt from The Parent's Little Book of Lists: Do's and Don't of Effective Parenting, by Jane Bluestein, Ph.D., copyright 1997, Health Communications, Inc., Deerfield Beach, FL.

Working with the difficult student

I was lucky enough to attend a training titled "Working With the Difficult Student" with Dr. Jane Bluestein this week. Dr. Bluestein has written several books including "The Win-Win Classroom". She spoke energetically about this topic and turned my thinking on it's side about how to approach students in a way that lets both the teacher and the child win. What a fantastic idea! Her premise is about preventing the difficulties before they ever begin. I hope to share over the next few days several of the ideas that I took away from this training that can be used both in the classroom and at home.

I will share this: I used one of the strategies this morning on my 5 year old. He had gotten up this morning and turned on the tv. When I tried to get him to get dressed and eat breakfast this became a battle. You see, you can't see the tv from his room or the kitchen. He kept saying "one more minute!" and never got dressed or ate. I finally became irate at him for ignoring my directions and he became irate with me for insisting on following them. Typically I would have turned off the tv and told him "No more tv until you are dressed and have eaten!". This time I said "Hey, I'm going to help you. After you have gotten dressed and have eaten breakfast, I'm going to let you watch a few minutes of tv until we leave for school. What do you think of that?". The 5 year old loved it! The tears dried up and he became excited because I told him I would help him. The great thing is, I didn't change the core of my message: those two tasks were going to be completed before he could watch tv. I just changed how I presented it to him and we were both winners in the situation.

So keep checking back over the next few days for strategies and ideas. If you get a chance head on over to www.janebluestein.com and look at the free items. There is a lot to choose from.